The Answers I Needed

I have been having some emotional days lately. I have no reason to be so emotional, but I am all over the place. The one thing that I was looking forward to was going to the temple. I was planning on being able to feel the peace of heavenly father and know he loves me. But I got the dates wrong and was not able to enter... 

Needless to say it was my tipping point. I went and sat on a bench near the temple and cried. I cried for what felt like hours... it was really only about 5 minutes. While I was crying, I prayed. I prayed that I would find peace. That things would work out for me. That I would be happy again. I got a strong feeling to call my grandma. I tried to call her and I had no answer. 

I drove home feeling as though I had felt a little bit of his presence. My husband said he was going to give me all the snuggles when I got home. Which I did. He also went out and got me some ice cream... which I am not supposed to have... my husband is the best man, he cheered me up when I didn't think it was possible. 

The next day those same feelings started to creep back. I knelt down to pray. I prayed my heart out. I asked for a baby. I usually only ever ask for the strength to get through something. But this time I felt so defeated... As soon as I said amen, my phone began to ring. It was my grandma calling me back. 

During that phone call I knew she was an answer to my prayer. She told me she knows there is a little one on their way to me. She knows it is hard right now, but the timing will be perfect. I love my grandma so much. I do not think she will ever know how much that phone call meant to me. She has such a beautiful heart. If I can be half the woman she is I know I will have done something right. I love her. I know things will be okay, I just need to work on my patience.