My Journey to My Family

The two week period of not knowing can be the worst... you have to as patient as can be. The not knowing can kill you. You start to imagine things. You google constantly. One little things happens to you and you start to wonder is this it??? This is my life right now. Except I am taking a hold of the stress and fear and trying to manage it the best I can. I have prayed on it. I have started a new breathing regimen for when things get overwhelming. Right now I have started to not put myself in situations where I can feel that pain.  I have decided that patience is important. I need to have patience in order to live my life. Yes I would love to just be know all and be happy. This is not how the world works. I am doing my best to get there though. I am going to the temple to feel closer to heavenly father. I am keeping my mind occupied and busy so I don't stress.  It's the little things that help me. I finished a book today. It was a great distraction. I showered my husband with ...

It is good to have hope. It is great to have hope. But having too much hope when you don't know what's going to happen can be dangerous... right now I have too much hope... I keep hoping that I will get pregnant. Most of the time I have that voice in my head saying don't do it, it might not happen. Just relax and breath. I can rationalize things.  Right now I am not being rational... I have my hopes up high and I'm amazed to let them come down... I finally ovulated this weekend. I finally saw those two lines saying go make a baby! And now I have hopes! I have dreams that little Gus Gus is on his way to us right now.  Before I ovulated everytime I prayed I got a feeling to hold off on taking my meds. I have meds that help me ovulate, most the time they haven't worked. But this time I had the feeling to wait. So I did. I waited. I planned on starting the meds Sunday if the pregnancy test came back negative. Well Sunday morning rolls around, I take a pregna...